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conarFandom: Dream SMP
Category: Gen
Characters: ConnorEatsPants, TommyInnit, Ranboo, Tubbo, Jschlatt (mentioned)
Content Warnings: Major Character Death (past), Grief, Referenced Torture, Trauma, Panic Attacks, Implied Suicide
Other Tags: Character Study, Hurt/Comfort
Words: 899
Commentary: Written for r/DreamWasTaken's March 2022 Fanfic Spotlight.
AO3
“I heard about Tommy.”
Tubbo looks up when he hears Connor’s voice. His mind wants him to tell him to go away, but really, he needs someone to talk to right now.
He can’t really think of anyone else at the moment.
“Yeah.” He responds quietly, not clarifying further.
Connor sits down next to him.
“You know, I know what it’s like.” He says.
Tubbo looks surprised. Admittedly, he didn’t know much of anything about the hedgehog hybrid’s past, so he didn’t really know what he meant by that.
“My best friend…” Connor continues. “He, uh… He’s not here anymore.”
His voice sounds like he’s on the edge of tears, forcing himself to remain composed.
“I came here because he asked me to.” He says. “But when I arrived, it was too late.”
“He, uh… He went down a path that would ultimately be his demise.” Connor explains. “I think you knew him. But probably not the person I knew.”
Tubbo can kind of piece together what he’s talking about, but he doesn’t want to assume, so he stays quiet.
Connor doesn’t clarify any further.
“Uh, but… I just wanted to say… It gets better.” He clears his throat. “It took me a long while to realize that. You’ll have, uh, bad days…” He trails off.
Tubbo wants to ask what he means, but he feels like it’d be insensitive.
“But!” Connor interjects. “But… Bad days are just days, they’re not forever. So don’t make dumb decisions based on bad days.”
Tubbo speaks up. “Is this from experience?” He asks.
“…It’s not important.” Connor says. “Don’t worry about it.”
——————————
“Tell me I’m real.”
Tommy’s tone terrified Connor. He took a step back, trying to keep his composure.
“I, uh, I don’t really think we can solve that, so, uh…” Connor mumbles. “Alright, it’s okay…”
Tommy lets out a shaky breath and slams his fist against the wall.
“I don’t know if I should tell you what they did to me.”
“You can if you want…” Connor says quietly, trying to not let his anxiety show in his voice.
“Should I open up to you, Connor?”
“I don’t know… If you want to…”
Tommy sighs loudly and paces in a circle around the small house.
“Sam let me fucking die, Connor. He let Dream kill me. Again, and again, and again…” He rambles, voice cracking with panic as he hyperventilates. “I don’t even know if I’m fucking real. Maybe I’m still there. Maybe I’m still there locked in that shitty fucking prison right now, Connor.”
Connor reaches out to touch Tommy’s shoulder. Tommy jerks away.
“Don’t.” He snaps.
“Sorry…” Connor mumbles.
Tommy takes a deep breath.
“You know… Tommy, um… I think you’re probably being triggered right now.” Connor quietly suggests. “Here, uh, can you name five things you can see?”
“Why?” Tommy asked, voice sharp with alarm still.
“Just do it, please.”
“Uh…” Tommy thinks. “I can see you, I can see uh, chests, a crafting table… Netherwart… The stupid fucking dirt walls of this shitty house.”
“Okay.” Connor says. “Four things you can feel?”
“This is stupid.” Tommy retorts, but he obliges anyways. “The grass floor, my shirt, uh… The leather cover of this book…” He motions to Connor’s diary, which he’s still holding. “Um… I don’t know… My pants? Is that cheating? I already said my shirt.”
“No, no, don’t think about it that much, Tommy.” Connor sighs. “Three things you can hear?”
“You. Me. The chickens outside.”
“Okay, okay… Two things you can smell.”
“Dirt. I don’t know! Netherwart again.”
“Okay. Almost done.” Connor says. He can tell Tommy is calmer now. “Name one good thing about yourself.”
Tommy thinks in silence for a moment.
“I’m alive.”
Connor nods. “Do you feel any better now?” He asks.
“…Yeah, a little.” Tommy says. “Thank you. I don’t really think I deserve your help, though, I mean… I’ve never really been a good person towards you.”
“Hey, it’s okay, um… I don’t think you’re a bad person.” Connor says. “I mean, that doesn’t make your treatment of me in the past okay, but… I don’t think you’re a bad person, just conflicted. I’m sure I’ve said this before, but it’s true, you know. I don’t know why you did what you did back then, and even now I’m still kind of dealing with everything, but… You don’t deserve to suffer, Tommy.”
Tommy nods in silence.
——————————
“And that’s the story of my life, I guess.” Connor laughs.
“Oh.” Ranboo says. “I’m sorry, man, that sounds rough.”
“It’s no big deal, anyways… I’m not that important.” Connor replies. His tail swishes awkwardly. “Dunno. I mostly just give other people advice.”
He leans back so his head softly hits the wall of the prison cell. He huffs.
Ranboo thinks for a moment, and then speaks. “Connor, have you ever thought that maybe you were giving advice to others that you needed to hear yourself?”
“What do you mean?”
“Like…” Ranboo trails off as he thinks of what to say. “Like, have you ever thought that maybe the advice you were giving other people might apply to yourself as well?”
Connor sits in silence for a second, processing the words.
“No.” He says. “No, I don’t think so.”
Ranboo raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t press further, and the two continue their conversation as if he hadn’t said anything in the first place.
Category: Gen
Characters: ConnorEatsPants, TommyInnit, Ranboo, Tubbo, Jschlatt (mentioned)
Content Warnings: Major Character Death (past), Grief, Referenced Torture, Trauma, Panic Attacks, Implied Suicide
Other Tags: Character Study, Hurt/Comfort
Words: 899
Commentary: Written for r/DreamWasTaken's March 2022 Fanfic Spotlight.
”Have you ever thought that maybe the advice you were giving other people might apply to yourself as well?”
Connor sits in silence for a second, processing the words.
“No.” He says. “No, I don’t think so.”
AO3
“I heard about Tommy.”
Tubbo looks up when he hears Connor’s voice. His mind wants him to tell him to go away, but really, he needs someone to talk to right now.
He can’t really think of anyone else at the moment.
“Yeah.” He responds quietly, not clarifying further.
Connor sits down next to him.
“You know, I know what it’s like.” He says.
Tubbo looks surprised. Admittedly, he didn’t know much of anything about the hedgehog hybrid’s past, so he didn’t really know what he meant by that.
“My best friend…” Connor continues. “He, uh… He’s not here anymore.”
His voice sounds like he’s on the edge of tears, forcing himself to remain composed.
“I came here because he asked me to.” He says. “But when I arrived, it was too late.”
“He, uh… He went down a path that would ultimately be his demise.” Connor explains. “I think you knew him. But probably not the person I knew.”
Tubbo can kind of piece together what he’s talking about, but he doesn’t want to assume, so he stays quiet.
Connor doesn’t clarify any further.
“Uh, but… I just wanted to say… It gets better.” He clears his throat. “It took me a long while to realize that. You’ll have, uh, bad days…” He trails off.
Tubbo wants to ask what he means, but he feels like it’d be insensitive.
“But!” Connor interjects. “But… Bad days are just days, they’re not forever. So don’t make dumb decisions based on bad days.”
Tubbo speaks up. “Is this from experience?” He asks.
“…It’s not important.” Connor says. “Don’t worry about it.”
——————————
“Tell me I’m real.”
Tommy’s tone terrified Connor. He took a step back, trying to keep his composure.
“I, uh, I don’t really think we can solve that, so, uh…” Connor mumbles. “Alright, it’s okay…”
Tommy lets out a shaky breath and slams his fist against the wall.
“I don’t know if I should tell you what they did to me.”
“You can if you want…” Connor says quietly, trying to not let his anxiety show in his voice.
“Should I open up to you, Connor?”
“I don’t know… If you want to…”
Tommy sighs loudly and paces in a circle around the small house.
“Sam let me fucking die, Connor. He let Dream kill me. Again, and again, and again…” He rambles, voice cracking with panic as he hyperventilates. “I don’t even know if I’m fucking real. Maybe I’m still there. Maybe I’m still there locked in that shitty fucking prison right now, Connor.”
Connor reaches out to touch Tommy’s shoulder. Tommy jerks away.
“Don’t.” He snaps.
“Sorry…” Connor mumbles.
Tommy takes a deep breath.
“You know… Tommy, um… I think you’re probably being triggered right now.” Connor quietly suggests. “Here, uh, can you name five things you can see?”
“Why?” Tommy asked, voice sharp with alarm still.
“Just do it, please.”
“Uh…” Tommy thinks. “I can see you, I can see uh, chests, a crafting table… Netherwart… The stupid fucking dirt walls of this shitty house.”
“Okay.” Connor says. “Four things you can feel?”
“This is stupid.” Tommy retorts, but he obliges anyways. “The grass floor, my shirt, uh… The leather cover of this book…” He motions to Connor’s diary, which he’s still holding. “Um… I don’t know… My pants? Is that cheating? I already said my shirt.”
“No, no, don’t think about it that much, Tommy.” Connor sighs. “Three things you can hear?”
“You. Me. The chickens outside.”
“Okay, okay… Two things you can smell.”
“Dirt. I don’t know! Netherwart again.”
“Okay. Almost done.” Connor says. He can tell Tommy is calmer now. “Name one good thing about yourself.”
Tommy thinks in silence for a moment.
“I’m alive.”
Connor nods. “Do you feel any better now?” He asks.
“…Yeah, a little.” Tommy says. “Thank you. I don’t really think I deserve your help, though, I mean… I’ve never really been a good person towards you.”
“Hey, it’s okay, um… I don’t think you’re a bad person.” Connor says. “I mean, that doesn’t make your treatment of me in the past okay, but… I don’t think you’re a bad person, just conflicted. I’m sure I’ve said this before, but it’s true, you know. I don’t know why you did what you did back then, and even now I’m still kind of dealing with everything, but… You don’t deserve to suffer, Tommy.”
Tommy nods in silence.
——————————
“And that’s the story of my life, I guess.” Connor laughs.
“Oh.” Ranboo says. “I’m sorry, man, that sounds rough.”
“It’s no big deal, anyways… I’m not that important.” Connor replies. His tail swishes awkwardly. “Dunno. I mostly just give other people advice.”
He leans back so his head softly hits the wall of the prison cell. He huffs.
Ranboo thinks for a moment, and then speaks. “Connor, have you ever thought that maybe you were giving advice to others that you needed to hear yourself?”
“What do you mean?”
“Like…” Ranboo trails off as he thinks of what to say. “Like, have you ever thought that maybe the advice you were giving other people might apply to yourself as well?”
Connor sits in silence for a second, processing the words.
“No.” He says. “No, I don’t think so.”
Ranboo raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t press further, and the two continue their conversation as if he hadn’t said anything in the first place.
